With just a few games left in their season, and with talismanic captain Charlie WB returning to the fold after various volcano-related calamities, Howard’s Juicebox recently lined up for another vital game. Here’s the man himself to tell us how they got on…

“So with Howard’s Juicebox having played seven of the season’s ten games, we were sitting pretty at the top of the table with a four point lead. Not to mention an unbeaten campaign and the highest scorer in the league (Jack). Our rivals Giganten Brodre had suffered their second defeat at the hands of Average Joe’s whilst I was gone and tonight offered us a chance to further cement our authority on the league.y

A win in tonight’s match would guarantee promotion and bring us one step closer to the league title. Our opponents went by the name of Mon Utd, we had met them before in the first game of the season and defeated them 3-1, but with it being their debut season in the league surely they must have progressed since those days…

Having missed the last couple of matches, I felt it best to start the game on the sidelines, and ease myself back into the fray – basically I felt really unfit. The match didn’t start well. Mon Utd were on the offensive, forcing Alex into three early saves, one of which he pushed onto the bar and out of play. It soon became obvious that these guys had come a long way and meant business.

It’s often said that when you are top of the league, things tend to go your way, and it’s only with that timeless piece of football punditry that I can explain us taking the lead. With Mon Utd’s constant surge of pressure, they must have left a gap at the back. Jack found himself on the edge of the area and worked the ball onto his lethal right foot, He deceived the defender and made some space for the shot. Wham, bam, thank you mam. Jack’s 8th of the season put us in the driving seat.

The game teetered on the edge of boredom for a while. Then, we had a couple of free-kicks and with the second one we managed something a little special. Olly C made a cute run behind the wall, Jack played the ball in to his feet and one left-footed shot later we found ourselves 2-0 up, with half-time looming. But just before the whistle, an over-lapping run breached our lines and one of the opposition rifled in a shot, Alex could only parry it onto the post and into the net. Once again we had let one in right before the break, what a bunch of schoolboys…

As the second half began we were all too aware that if we could hold on, we would later be celebrating an unprecedented promotion. With that in our minds we knew we had to dig in deep. In this second period Juicebox chances were few and far between. My match fitness was seriously in question as I rolled on and off the pitch like a well used breadpin. Soon enough my poor fitness levels would translate into a personal error of catastrophic proportions. Catastrophic.

The ball came to me at the bottom left side of the field, with my back to goal. The inner Jamie Carragher inside of me told me to kick it out for the throw. The outer Olly C told me to pass the ball across the field to him. I should have listened to Jamie, maybe things would have been different, maybe I could have been a hero, but it wasn’t to be. I tried to steer the ball over to Olly, but my tired legs had other ideas, they thought it would be much more beneficial for me to sell him short and let a Mon Utd striker in on goal. The writing was on the wall. 2-2. All my fault.

I instantly called for the substitution and as soon the touchline was crossed, I crashed to the floor in defeat. My mind was spinning at a million miles an hour, had I cost us promotion? Was I good enough for the team? Would I ever play again?

As I lay on the sidelines almost in a coma, contemplating my future, I couldn’t even bear to watch the rest of the game. But I heard things. I heard Locky screaming out in pain as his hamstring went. Followed by the whole team screaming out in pain as we conceded the match-winning goal, costing us our unbeaten run and a point.

The team was devastated and as we warmed down I apologised for my failings.

Brodre went on to win their match that evening, cutting our lead to just a point, making next week’s match a must win fixture. The penultimate game of the season, Giganten Brodre vs Howard’s Juicebox. A clash of the titans, of the most epic proportions. It’s make or break and you’d be a fool to miss it…”