After their not-so-successful first game, here’s the second instalment in the story of what could be London’s worst five-a-side team, ‘Howard’s Juicebox.’ Sadly, there’s no explanation of where that name has come from, but there’s plenty more insight into the team from their latest recruit, Charlie WB.

“Still unable to find more than a red string vest to wear, I turned up for our pre-game warm-up, buzzing with a litre of energy drink inside my system. There had been a few major developments since last week’s pummelling, the biggest of which was two new squad changes – the arrival of a permanent goalkeeper, Alex B, a 6′4” lanky beast from Doncaster, and the arrival of Kilshaw, a little terrier, who is much nicer than his name suggests.

We even talked about tactics. The game plan was to play three at the back and one upfront when we didn’t have the ball, and switch to three upfront and one at the back when we did have it. ‘Try and keep possession’ was something that I must have heard everyone say at least three times (and no, not directly at me). So far, so good, we had an actual keeper and we had actual outfield positions decided. A big improvement on last week and we hadn’t even kicked off yet.

Eyeing up the opposition, I couldn’t help but notice them all wearing a particularly famous Madrid kit and my Barça roots told me I had to win. I offered to start on the bench, this is because I know that I am one of our weaker players. I had thought that maybe if I came off the bench, with fresher legs, I might fool people into thinking I am a better player than I actually am.

So from the sidelines, I watched as ‘Howard’s Juicebox’ kicked off. We managed to hold the ball for a while, but it wasn’t long before one of our attacks was broken down and Olly lost possession of the ball. They came at our defence so quickly, and after dragging our goalie out of position, they passed the ball into an empty net. So much for three at the back. 1-0. I was praying that we wouldn’t suffer a similar result to the 13-0 defeat the week before.

Then the unthinkable happened – we scored a goal. 1-1. Rob’s hardworking attitude paid dividends. A scrappy back-pass was chased down, and Rob slid the ball past the keeper. We could see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I came on the pitch, to no doubt what would have been a massive round of applause if we’d had any spectators, but we didn’t. I cleared the ball out of defence and it unintentionally went to Olly, who tore away down the left flank. Guiding the ball across the box to Kilshaw, who after taking a tasty touch past a defender, pulled out a beauty destined for the top right corner of their goal. Out of nowhere their keeper springs up like a jack-in-the-box and pushes it out for the corner.

At 1-1, I was sure we were going to win the match. But we didn’t. By the time halftime crept up on us, we were 3-1 down and out of breath. Again I heard ‘let’s try and keep the ball’, but this time between massive gasps of air. Jack, who is by far our best player, had a couple of opportunities with some free kicks, but they came to nothing. Alex B was called on more than we’d like to admit to make some brilliant saves.

Condemning us to defeat, they other team caught us on the counter and smashed their fourth goal into our net. Time to take some risks. I made my way up field and collected the ball from Rob on the edge of the box, a quick flick with outside of my boot knocked the ball back into Rob’s path, his shot was forced wide. Staying up for the next corner was a mistake.

They countered and I ran back as fast as my aching legs could take me, caught between two defenders, I tried to cut out the pass with a cheeky back-heel that Zola would have been proud of. Well, he would have been proud if it had worked. The ball went past my flailing foot, and into their striker. The woodwork saved my blushes. Finally the full time whistle blew.

Another loss, but this time we scored and the deficit was ten goals less, which lets be honest, is a massive improvement.
We have decided to have practice sessions during the week now. Not long until I get scouted by England then…”

Working for Umbro as a Player Recruitment Executive, James Beaumont travels around the country, looking for the best footballers to wear Umbro gear. Also, as a former player himself, he’s got a great eye for what makes a good prospect. With that in mind, we’ve asked him to pick out some of the finest young players he’s seen, and tell us just what it is that makes them special. He starts off with a look at a player who’s already made an impact in the Premier League…

“I have become attracted to Sunderland’s bullishly entertaining style which has lit up the North East’s football scene over the last couple of months or so. Watching Sunderland with a closer interest, business has become a pleasure. While their Tyne and Tees rivals have been getting through two games a week in a hectic Championship schedule, The Black Cats have been reveling in their new lease of life under Steve Bruce – and the don’t the screaming Mackems love it!

Jordan Henderson, a product of the Sunderland Academy, has been offered an opportunity in the team, has grasped it with both hands and is a player that will continue to emerge this season in the central of Sunderland’s midfield. With the experience of Cana and Cattermole arriving at the Stadium of Light in the summer, the middle of the park looked sealed up for Steve Bruce’s side. But with continuous progression and the desire to impress for his home town club, Henderson has forced his way into the reckoning on the strength of his performances. A magnificent show against Villa in the Carling Cup set the scene for the 19 year old, which has been followed by impressive games against some of the best midfielders in the Premiership.

With great energy and desire, Henderson is an all-action midfielder. Good vision, touch and awareness compliment his willingness to harass, compete and put the work in defensively. He may be in the early stages of his Premiership career, but with creative English talent at a premium, especially at his age, this boy could be in demand if he keeps stringing up performances like he has been.

I watched him against Arsenal last weekend, playing against arguably the best ‘footballing’ midfielder in the world. It was a tough test, but a good one for Henderson, as it exposed him to how the best go about their business. I watched the Sunderland midfielders as the referee blew for half time – they were exhausted, run ragged by the effortless Cesc. It would have been easy to crumble under such intense waves of quality – but Henderson and Cana came out with renewed desire and in the end out-ran, out-battled and out-played the opposition midfield and deserved the three points.

Nice to see a home grown player breaking through at first team level – give the boys a chance and there will be many more out there!

P.S. Lorik Cana is one of the buys of the season so far – looks like Steve Bruce has done his homework on that one.”